


You Should Always Ask First

by mcrlove412



Category: Frank Iero and the Patience, Gerard Way and the Hormones, Hesitant Alien - Gerard Way (Album), My Chemical Romance, frank iero and the celebration
Genre: Abuse, Asexual Character, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Established Relationship, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, accidental abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 15:48:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14596359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcrlove412/pseuds/mcrlove412
Summary: Gerard and Frank have a huge fallout due to lack of questioning and communication.





	You Should Always Ask First

Gerard was lying in bed with his boyfriend of eight months on a normal Thursday night scrolling through his phone. There was nothing really interesting to look at but Frank was watching some movie on the TV in their room and Gerard wasn’t really interested in it so he decided that scrolling through instagram was at least _slightly _more entertaining than watching the movie.__

__It was around midnight when Gerard decided to call it a night and put his phone down on the nightstand. When he turned onto to his side to physically place the phone down and turn off his bedside lamp he felt hands encircle his waist and then Frank’s head rub into the back of his neck._ _

__“Bedtime already?” Frank asked stroking his hands along Gerard's stomach._ _

__Gerard nodded, the anxiety starting to bubble in his stomach. He knew where this was going and he knew he was going to feel awful for turning Frank down again. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Frank. He did. He loved Frank with all of his heart but he didn’t want him like that. He didn’t want that with _anybody _. Gerard wasn’t _scared _of sex he just didn’t want to have it. He wasn’t interested in physical acts of affection at all, and he never had been._____ _

______Frank started placing small kisses along the back of Gerard’s neck causing Gerard to tense up._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Frank?” Gerard whispered quietly. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to have to tell Frank no, and make him disappointed for the millionth time in the eight months they’d been together, but he didn’t want to have sex with Frank._ _ _ _ _ _

______The furthest the two had ever gone were some seriously heated make out sessions. Frank would get off by rutting against Gerard and Gerard would try to keep his hands around Frank’s neck to ignore the thoughts running through his head. He suffered through the make outs because he couldn’t bare the idea of Frank leaving him. He knew it was going to happen eventually so he tried to delay it as much as he possibly could by offering the slightest bit of physical attention._ _ _ _ _ _

______What 24-year old male would willingly stick with someone who wouldn’t have sex with them? Gerard didn’t even do anything. He didn’t have a job because he’d been laid off and all the money he had was from selling some of his art pieces for twenty bucks a pop. Gerard had about one hundred dollars to his name and if it weren’t for Frank he’d be out living on the streets right now._ _ _ _ _ _

______Frank worked hard and worked long hours. He always bought the groceries and did the laundry and cooked the meals. Gerard would always offer to do these things since he was home all the time now but Frank refused to let him claiming that ‘he was used to it’ and ‘it would mess up his schedule’. He also mentioned that he was sure Gerard would have a job again soon and so he didn’t mind at all._ _ _ _ _ _

______Gerard knew the second statement was false. He tried to hard to find work but no one wanted to hire some kid with an arts degree. Every single interview he went to he left knowing that he wouldn’t be getting a call back from them anytime soon, despite whatever they had said._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yeah baby?” Frank asked sliding his hands from Gerard’s stomach down over his ass, and kneading it._ _ _ _ _ _

______Gerard’s mind was moving at rapid fire. He always felt so guilty for turning Frank down. He never had a good reason to give him. It was always that he was tired or not in the mood but _he _was tired of _lying _to Frank. Being asexual just never came up in conversation. It probably _could have _but Gerard was scared. If he told Frank then Frank would leave him and Gerard didn’t want to be alone._______ _ _ _ _ _

____________Maybe he should let Frank have this. Maybe if he just put out once it would be enough to hold Frank off for another eight months. Gerard knew it was stupid idea but he didn’t have any others._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________He turned to face Frank and before he knew what was happening, Frank’s lips were on his. The room was now dark- Frank having turned off the TV- and so Gerard hadn’t expected his face to be right there._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________The kissing was fine. It wasn’t great but Gerard could handle it- it’s what comes after the kissing that he can’t handle. Frank didn’t seem to notice any of Gerard's apprehension and if he did he wasn’t stopping. Frank’s fingers were now rubbing against his opening and Gerard felt like crying. He was so scared to be alone but he was so scared of what was happening. He knew going through with it wasn’t a plausible option for him anymore but he couldn’t find a voice to speak, it was like his brain was refusing to let him stop Frank, like it was trying to protect him from losing Frank but also torturing him by letting this go on._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________Frank applied pressure and his finger was now sliding into Gerard. Gerard squeezed his eyes shut and felt the first tears started to fall. He wanted Frank to stop. He wished the lights were on. He wished Frank would see him crying and stop. He _hoped _if the lights were on Frank would stop-he thought he would- but right now he was doubting his boyfriend.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“Fuck you’re so tight.” Frank whispered. “Just relax I’m going to make this so good for you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________Gerard bit down on his lip. Frank sounded so _excited _. He was finally getting what he wanted and Gerard’s heart was shattering because Frank didn’t want _him _he wanted sex._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Frank turned Gerard so he was on his back and climbed on top of him. He pulled Gerard’s underwear all the way down and threw them to the floor before taking off his own. Gerard watched in the dim light, frozen in fear, as Frank gripped his cock and lined it up against Gerard. Gerard was now breathing heavily, trying not to sob. He was so scared but he was already this far. If he told Frank to stop now Frank would _hate _him.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Frank started pushing in and Gerard’s hands shot up, gripping Frank’s forearms. Frank misread the action and leaned down to kiss Gerard but Gerard turned his head away and breathed in deeply- another misunderstood action._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________Frank kissed and licked Gerard's neck, praising him the entire time. Gerard felt sick-the happiness and lust in Franks voice was breaking him. He had no idea how he would ever face Frank after this. He didn’t think he’d _ever _be able to overcome this. It wasn’t like Frank was doing anything wrong- Gerard hadn’t tried to stop him- but he had never _asked _. Frank just went for it probably hoping Gerard wouldn’t ask him to stop. He was probably ecstatic that his eight months of waiting were finally paying off._____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard laid there on the bed for the next ten minutes in agony, feeling Frank thrust in and out of him. His hands never left Frank’s arms, his head never moved, and his deep breathing never stopped._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________When Frank finished inside of him, Gerard whimpered. He felt so broken and used. Any other person on the face of the planet would probably be so happy to finally sleep with the person they loved but Gerard just couldn’t understand why his love alone wasn’t enough for Frank._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________After Frank removed himself Gerard rolled onto his side. Frank spooned him wrapping his arms around Gerard and planting one final kiss on his neck. “I love you so much.” He whispered before falling asleep._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard didn’t sleep once that night. He stared straight ahead into the darkness until 6 am when he decided that is was acceptable for him to get out of bed. He got up and showered trying to get clean but he just felt gross. He broke down in the shower and let everything out. The fan and the water were enough to keep Frank from hearing him and when Gerard walked into the kitchen after getting dressed Frank was already sitting at the table with breakfast for both of them made._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard froze. He couldn’t look at Frank without the urgent feeling to throw up.  
He couldn’t do this. The man he was in love with was now a monster to him and it was his own fault. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Morning baby.” Frank smiled at Gerard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard gave a small smile and sat down to eat. Frank was looking at his phone so thankfully no real conversation occurred and soon enough Frank was leaving for work. However, he didn’t leave without giving Gerard a kiss and a wink as he walked out of the house._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________As soon as Frank was gone Gerard started crying again. He walked into the bedroom and stared at the bed that was now home to his worst nightmare. He stripped the sheets and threw them in the laundry. Once they were washed, he dried them and re did the bed. He thought it would help him feel better and when he realized it didn’t it just made him feel stupid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________He needed to not be home. He quickly threw on some shoes, grabbed his wallet and tossed on a jacket then left. Gerard wandered around until it was dark out. He had no real goal except to come home after Frank was already in bed. That way he could have the night to think of an excuse for being out and the alibi of not wanting to disturb Frank as the reason for sleeping on their couch._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard didn’t go home until one a.m. which meant Frank would already be asleep. Gerard crept into his house quietly and laid down on the couch. After wandering around the whole day he was actually pretty tired and fell asleep shortly after arriving._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________()()()_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Wake up!” yelled a loud voice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard sat up in shock, momentarily forgetting where he was. His eyes landed on Frank and his stomach clenched. He had forgotten that Frank would be getting up for work before himself._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Where the fuck were you!” Frank yelled at him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Frank had never once yelled at Gerard during the entirety of the relationship and the sudden outburst scared him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Answer me!” Frank screeched throwing one of the pillows at Gerard's head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Frank calm down-“ Gerard spoke, his voice coming out scratchy from not having been used in a day._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Frank roared. “I was worried sick about you! You fucking disappeared and didn’t tell me anything about any plans you had so I had absolutely no idea where you were and then you just don’t come home all night and then I wake up to you sleeping on our couch at five in the morning!”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard hadn’t even tired to think of an excuse last night and now he had no idea what to say to Frank. Frank looked angry and hurt but Gerard was still hurting deeply and didn’t want to talk to him, especially not when he was this angry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Well?” Frank asked placing a hand on his hip._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Look I’m sorry I just needed to get out.” Gerard told him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“All night? Without telling me where? Do you have any idea how that made me feel?” Frank asked. “We go and finally have sex and I’m so excited to come home and spend the evening with you because of how much I love and missed you and then you’re nowhere to be found. That’s not like you and I got so scared Gee.” This time Frank’s voice cracked as he spoke. He was clearly upset but Gerard was now the one getting angry._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Maybe I wanted to get away from you!” Gerard yelled. “Ever think of that?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Frank looked taken aback. He also looked a little heart broken and Gerard wasn’t sure how to feel. He was hurt and scared but the last thing he wanted was to lose Frank-if he hadn’t already._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“What? Why you want to get away from me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Hah.” Gerard laughed dryly. “Funny you should ask now after last night.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Gerard what?” Frank interrupted and that just set Gerard off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“You didn’t fucking ask! Not even once!” Gerard yelled. His emotions were all over the place and as he continued to scream his tears began to fall. “How could you do that to me!?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Frank was standing completely still, a face of utter dread clear in his expression._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Huh?!” Gerard yelled again. “Any other questions you want to ask now?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Gerard…” Frank tailed off._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“No. Don’t fucking Gerard me!” He screamed, breaking off into sobs._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Frank reached out to touch Gerard’s shoulder but he smacked Frank’s hand away and turned so he wasn’t facing him anymore. “Don’t touch me.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________“Gerard I- I didn’t know.” Frank sounded so upset that it physically hurt Gerard to hear._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________Gerard turned around to look at Frank. “You didn’t know because you _didn’t fucking ask _”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Frank had no response to that. He knew Gerard had to be talking about the sex but he was so lost. He had thought Gerard wanted to. Gerard hadn’t said no and he had grabbed onto Frank and was breathing heavily. He even fucking whimpered at the end. Frank had thought he was enjoying it. To find out that Gerard obviously hadn’t wanted to have sex was destroying him. He hadn’t asked him if it was okay and now that it was clear what had happened Frank had to accept that he had basically raped his boyfriend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Gerard just shook his head at his boyfriend before heading for the door. He didn’t want this to happen but he couldn’t be around Frank right now. He felt too vulnerable and too angry, neither of which was a good combination._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________________Frank didn’t even try to stop him. His mind was still reeling from what had just happened and he didn’t want to upset Gerard any further. He loved Gerard and to know that he had hurt him like that was killing him. If Gerard wanted time alone then that’s what he would give him no matter how much it hurt._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


End file.
